The Wedding Officiant's Guide by Lisa Francesca

Author:Lisa Francesca [Lisa Francesca]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Chronicle Books LLC
Published: 2014-05-02T16:00:00+00:00

HOW TO SEIZE THE REINS

You can expect any number of interesting factors at your rehearsal. One day I stood on a lawn near some natural hot springs, waiting for the bride and groom and making small talk with the coordinators for nearly three hours. There were no chairs. I watched the sun set. The couple had decided to go to a large city to get their wedding license around lunchtime that day, and then they got stuck in Saturday traffic. They arrived just as the elaborate rehearsal dinner began, preempting any time for us. Perhaps your wedding party is quite large or rambunctious, or half of them aren’t there at all. Maybe children are running around, there is a language barrier, or the rehearsal location is not the actual wedding location. Don’t be disturbed.

When everyone arrives at rehearsal, expect a certain amount of milling around and conversation as family members and friends greet each other, frequently not having seen each other for a long time. Give them ten minutes of this but no longer. They can catch up at the rehearsal dinner or the wedding reception, but now they—and you—have a job to do.

Call for attention, and when they settle and face you expectantly, introduce yourself by your name and your title: “I’m so-and-so, and I will be your officiant for this wedding.” Even if everyone there is a close relative of yours, this introduction will alert them that, at least for today and the wedding day, you are playing a specific and important role. It will improve the quality of their attention.

From that point, remember that a great way to get people to follow your instruction is to communicate constantly. Try not to jump around: go step by step, be patient, and speak clearly. When you get to tricky parts, tell your party what you and they are about to do, explain what you are doing while you do it, and then summarize what you did. Here are some examples:

“Now we are going to go through the motions of the ceremony.”

“Now I’d like each reader to come up, choose two lines at random from your reading, and say them loudly so those in the back can hear. This gives you a chance to test how your voice will carry.”

“OK, we have completed the recessional, and that went smoothly. Anyone have any questions about their part? No? OK, everybody, that’s a wrap.”

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